I met Erik Guzman through Steve Brown, the former Voice-Over personality and Marlboro Man spokesman, turned pastor and theology professor. Erik works for Brown and has a good blog in which he calls himself "the Merry Monk of Love." (merry love monk..ey?)
It's Lent, and Erik/LoveMonk has a great post about the "Desert Of Doubt." He is in that desert right now. Not knowing if what he's believed is just a bunch of dookey, or if it's really true. It's a very difficult place to face that existential crisis. Maybe we made it all up: peace, love, God, etc. What proof do we have aside from our own subjective experience? I remember being in that place. And in a way, I miss it: Miss that time when finding those answers was more important than food or housing or friendships. Anyway it's a great post. Check it out here.
Have you been through that desert of doubt? Did you get any answers? Are you still in it?
Mar 24, 2010
Desert of Doubt
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2 comments:
I've been living in that desert for years now and still trying to find my way out of it. Matters were made worse when my dear husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. (And at such a young age!) Not a good place to be when you hear such devastating news. Your doubt turns to anger and if it weren't for the fact that you believed God was out to squash you, I wouldn't believe in anything at all. I was so mad at God. Now I'm not angry at Him anymore but I'm still left with nothing but questions. Does He really care? Or did He just put life into motion and what is, is? I just finished reading your book a few weeks ago and could relate so much, especially on how I saw God and Jesus. Well, God isn't snarky with me. Instead He ignores me and is angry and mean. Anyway....still trying to see if there even is an end to the desert. We're believing that my husband will be okay, but it is still a very scary place to be.
I feel like most of my adult life has been spent going in and out of that desert of doubt. If I could solve it by a soak in the bathtub I'd probably turn into a raisin...
Actually, I really identify with him. I've been in and out of deserts since the time I stopped complacently going along with what I'd been taught and started questioning it. When I'm in the desert I have to remember the peace from the good places, and when I'm in the good places I have to remember to save up that peace for the deserts.
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