A couch only a cat could love

Larry and I are moving! We've been sharing a house for the last two years with our friends the Rooneys, who live in Portland most of the time. We've loved it, but a house rental came open in Sierra Madre that we can't pass up. I hate moving east another 12 miles ... so many of our close friends are on the west side. But Sierra Madre is an adorable town, like living in LA without having to live in LA. So we're moving March 1.

When we moved to the Rooneys we got rid of our couch, a decision I knew I would later regret. So we've got to find a new couch. I'm disillusioned with what's out there. IKEA is turned too boxy and 1980s on me. And frankly I get tired of pronouncing the names. Malm. Rheum. Leskavikensnickersnakken.

So I googled "traditional couch." This is what I got.
I don't know about you, but this picture makes me uneasy. It's too neutral. I feel like I'm about to sit down with the head of the Armenian Mafia. And being Norwegian and Welsh, that meeting won't go well.


Google found me this couch as well.
This belongs in the Green Room at TBN.
this loveseat pillow maze makes Jan Crouch look understated. Or at least, it'll hide her mascara runs. How can you be gaudy using only browns? Apparently you can.



But wait! Wait!
I found this one! YESSSS. This is my idea of perfect traditional. Clean lines, traditional look, a fun bold color with some fun stitching. Great, where do I buy one? Sigh. Great Britain. For £4,000, or about $7500.

Well I'm a thrifty gal, I've bought loads of stuff from the Goodwill. Clothes, dishes, shoes, housewares. Things you can put in a washing machine and sanitize. Heck, I bought up a beautiful china pattern they were just putting out on the rack. Paid $70 for all the pieces, came home and found out it was a fancy Italian china worth $2,000. So I can do thrift stores and craigslist for couches, and just buy lots of ScotchGuard.

Here's something that came up in my search. "Selling a great vintage sofa and matching side chair. I'd like to get them off my hands this weekend. I'd love for it to be today!"

Oh sister, I sure understand why you want that off your hands today. One more day on that couch and you'd feel like you were imprisoned in a Tijuana brothel. Lordy, let today be the day you are set free.

WAIT. She wants money for this. She wants $175 for this? She says it's an eames couch. Sure, and I'm a Beatle because I was born in the Sixties? Wait, she provided an aerial view. So you can see um, the structure.


Hey, is that a cat on the far right, clawing its way up to the window? Lady, this may be why you need to sell that couch. Your cats have made it their personal Gymnasium. Or, they are climbing it to escape from you and your tijuana brothel.

In fact, going back to the first photo,
I see there ARE cats. More cats, different cats. And their handiwork.

Well, I suppose the moral of the story is, if you want to keep an Eames Sofa, don't let your cats on it. Or don't get cats. Or an Eames Sofa. And if you want a deal on Craigslist, you're nutz.
I may have to go back to my people at IKEA.

PS someone asked about the china I got at the Goodwill, so I'm adding a pic. Richard Ginori, Palmero Green. Yummy.