May 10, 2008

Why It Matters

I'm nearing the end of my rewrite, the last rewrite before the end. Sometimes I feel like I'm rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic ... or on a gorgeous cruise ship to Alaska. The chairs are all gonna sink or they'll all get there. So why rearrange? Larry told me to fight against ennui. Well he didn't say ennui or weltschmerz or blasé-faire. I think he said fatigue. Fight fatigue. I'm trying. I've got Red Bulls in the fridge.

My friend Traci applied for a job she really, really wants. We talked about it yesterday: the enormous desire that threatens to dash our hopes if we don't get it ... 'hope deferred makes the heart sick.' There's an urge to go buddhist and kill off our desire. But I thought of what Henri Nouwen said: "Desire is the atomic energy of the soul." Desire for change motivates the political landscape. Desire to help the poor sends us to the inner cities and Africa and even Myanmar -- where other desires try to stop the help from reaching those who need it. Yes, desire creates unhappiness and evil. But it also motivates the best in us.

Traci sent me this quote of Frederick Buechner: "We must be careful with our lives, for Christ's sake, because it would seem that they are the only lives we are going to have in this puzzling and perilous world, and so they are very precious and what we do with them matters enormously."

So maybe I'm not rearranging deck chairs as much as I'm actually steering the ship. Or leading the charge. Okay then. Once more into the breach...


Lisa Milton said...

Love the new shot of you. What a little cutie you were.

Here's to those last rewrites.

Ted and Lori said...

Go, Susan! Go, Susan! Go, Susan! What you're doing *matters*!

John said...

Wow Susan. I check Larry’s blog every other week to see how the "journey" goes. I pray for him and his calling. I wondered why he never posts anymore. I did not think of looking at your blog. Call me dense. It is a long story how I came upon Larry's blog. It was basically through David Kopp. Anyway, I am so glad to see Larry is doing well and so are you.

Now for your post: Your words are exactly what I needed to hear today. I say that with tears still in my eyes. As I read your entry about desire Sara Groves was playing. It was perfect. Like your friend Traci, I too am waiting to know if I have a dream job. After an initial interview and now a 7 week wait I am told that I am still a top candidate. Ugh. This morning a friend in his sage years reminded me to not lose hope. He basically had the same thing for me that you did. So yes once more to the breach! Funny the places God leads you to and then speaks deeply to your heart. Amazing! Tell your friend Traci that I just prayed for her.

Susan Isaacs said...

hey John! Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm so glad that what I'm writing resonates with you. It's so easy to get completely discouraged and give up hope. I pray you DO get that job. 7 months is a VERY LONG TIME to wait. Hey and Traci got that job! I pray you will hear soon as well. I LOVE THAT SARA GROVES SONG. I think I cried a lot the first time I heard it. And as for Larry and his blog, I'm 'mad' that he hasn't written. but you can post a comment on his blog and tell him to get back on it! thanks again John, and may you hear news of hope fulfilled making the heart glad. Susan

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