Sep 2, 2006

My Wedding Tribute to Larry

Larry and I wrote letters to each other and read them as part of the ceremony. You can read Larry's Letter here. I' ve included the text of mine below:

I’m a writer, but when I sat down to write what I wanted to say, I couldn’t find the words. We’d said so many already, and on this day, what could I say that was new? I had to cut and paste a lot from things I’ve already written.

But I will say, the fact that so many people are here today, is a testament to hope, to finding love, and to the miracle that ‘wow, weird, old people can fall in love too.”

I honestly didn’t expect to find you. For years my friends would say, “it’s because you’re so unique.” I think they were trying to stall for God. I didn’t buy it.

But just a year ago, when Peter Jennings died, and he was my idea of a man with mojo. So I decided to write a list of what I wanted in a man, what gave him mojo:

A Man Who

Loves Jesus, is spiritually mature, But NOT "churchy"
Great Wit, Intelligent, Irreverent
Knows Who He Is
Creative, Visionary
Warm, Likes People (unlike my last Boyfriend)
Wants to Be Of Service
My Age or Older (unlike my last boyfriends)
We make each other laugh
I Respect, I Trust
Inspires Me
Thinks I'm A Catch

Larry, you had all of that. But not only that, you: loved the Beatles, Monty Python, Bob Dylan. And you even knew “Fantasy on a Theme of Thomas Tallis” which was really freaky.

In the first two weeks when we met online, we shared a lot of stories about ourselves. But these were the words that really caught me:

I've spent my entire career working for Christian organizations, and I've finally come to realize that Christians get really weird whenever they get organized. I've witnessed so much crap thrown around in Jesus' name that I'm often surprised that my faith survived. I'm thankful for the few people I've met who really do resonate God. People who've helped me recognize that God isn't often recognizable in churches, but he is very present in the world through simple people who have grasped what love and grace are all about.

Like me, you’d gone through a spiritual crisis and disillusionment. But you’d come out the other side. Your faith was still solid.

I know people talk about the spiritual life as a journey. Well, mine seemed more like a hike up Mount Everest. With no parka, or Sherpa. I wondered if God was involved any more. If he ever was.

In the last year, my hike up this mountain started to show some purpose. Maybe my friendships and writing and work were all connected in a way: to help others up the mountain. People that the church wouldn’t touch. Getting us all up this mountain. The of the Lord. That's what I knew I was supposed to do.

So I’m walking up this mountain, and I reach a plateau, and who should be there, sitting under a tree, but this man. A man with wild hair and an earring and glints of danger in his blue eyes.

"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I don't know. I just know it's up the mountain." I tell him.
"The Mountain of God?"
"Yes! That’s it. Is He up there?
"He's up there alright."
"How do you know, Have you made it to the top?!" I ask him, scared and excited.
"I've been a ways up the hill already."
"Why'd you come back down?"
"To wait."
"Wait for what?"
" You mean, 'wait for whom.' There's a big rock up the hill, you can only get over it if you have a partner. I was waiting for someone to walk with."

"How long have you been waiting?" I ask.
"A long time. Not many people climb up this far."

I feel calm now. I feel good and clean and strong. As if God is smiling on me for getting here, and he’s saying, keep walking. I don't feel so tired.

The man under the tree jumps to his feet. He's lean and wiry and wild, like he seems dangerous. Dangerous in the best kind of way. Like he's got a secret you need to know. He seems familiar, like I already know him.

"It's time. Are you coming with me?"
I hesitate."You can't go up much further alone."
"I don’t know you."
"You know me," he answers.

His mouth is straight and grave but his eyes are wild and alive with that dangerous secret. And I realize why he looks so familiar. I know him from every dream I've had about walking up this mountain. I recognize his face, the way I know I'll recognize the face of God when I see Him.

"Well, but do YOU know ME?" I press him.
"Yes I do. You're the one I was waiting for."

And he holds out his hand. I look down and I see, there's a trail under my feet. Very faint, as if maybe only one or two people have walked it. I think this man has. I think I'll go with him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Suz, You look so beautiful and happy. I'm thrilled you've met your match. Thanks for sharing all the pix and stories. I love catching up with you via this!

God bless you babe!

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