Proof Photo-Positive

Lar and I had been dating nearly five months, and I didn't have a picture of us together. People started asking me if he was 'for reals.' For one thing, how could anyone as great as I described him. My friends were skeptical until they met him. Still, I had people out of town asking for proof. Photoshopping the two of us together wouldn't cut it. Maybe we'd have to fake a baby, like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Oh God. No children. (See Below)

So last Saturday Larry asked, wanna go to the zoo? Sounded like fun. When he brought his camera, we decided it was time: get a shot of us together. But where, with screaming children everywhere? Well, there's that enclosed aviary, with its own waterfall and beautiful tropical birds that fly around unencumbered. It'll be like the Jungle Cruise meets the Tiki Room.

If only. At least at Disneyland they chlorinate the water, and the birds are fake. Fake birds don't poo. Here in this aviary, where birds fly unencumbered, they also poo unencumbered.

We stopped in front of the waterfall and asked a guy passing by to take our picture. But while the guy was trying to adjust the camera, the spray of the waterfall sent waves of nauseating, putrefacting odor our way. We got a picture and ran. Look at those clenched teeth. We're about to barf or faint.
We were on a roll now! Heck if we could survive a picture in front of a bird excrement waterfall, we could survive anything. That was it! We were going to get... more pictures taken.

That night we hung out with my friends Meredith and Catheryn. We ate, drank, chatted about the nature of evil. And Larry patiently went under the Best Friend microscope. I knew he did Ok when Catheryn passed me in the kitchen:

"He's sooo delicious!!" And he is. Not just because he's so adorable. but also because he's such a great guy. He more than Made the Corkboard. He's warm and friendly, and he likes my friends. (This was new. My friends dubbed my last boyfriend "Captain Bringdown.") He's also got substance and loves to talk about deep issues. Look, girls love to talk. Girls love a guy who loves to talk. Larry loves to talk. ergo, girls love Larry. And Larry loves me. Which is all the proof positive I need.

Okay I'm getting sappy. So sue me. I'm allowed. I'm just proud to be with him.