Mar 14, 2006

Rejected by eHarmony!


How do you get rejected by eharmony? Start by telling the truth

Two and a half years ago, I decided I needed to get over my ex. It had been five months since we broke up, and he managed to meet someone the following week. So I did something I swore I would never do. I tried internet dating.

Five years ago, internet dating felt like a realm reserved for the desperate. Mail-order brides, ex-nuns with facial hair, obese IT nerds who live alternate lives online as robo-cut Japanese animé heroes.

But today we do so much over the internet: banking, shopping, heck these days I prefer email to talking on the phone. So, I caved. Why not just try internet dating? At least I'll be able to see who's out there.
Or not.

I started by taking the eHarmony personality profile which matches you to, as they put it: a highly select group with whom you share things like character, intellect, passion ... and up to 24 other dimensions. Dimensions being a new way to market the human character. And eHarmony has discovered 24 of 'em!

So I took the test. There were hundreds of questions. Some were hard to answer. Like, I had to choose between:
I like spending week nights alone
OR
I'm attracted to black men.

What if I'd like to spend a week night alone with a black man?

So, 45 minutes and 100s of questions later, identified my 24-dimensional personality. And they rejected me. eHarmony REJECTED ME! Come on, I didn't get even ONE of the 24 dimensions right?

That's because you're unique, a friend comforted me. As if being 41 and still single didn't tell me that already?

My roommate said eHarmony rejected a percentage to weed out "crazy people."
I wondered how she knew this.

Alright, so maybe it was the way I answered some of the questions.
Like, do you go through mood swings?
I'm a woman. We do that every month.
Or, Does life sometimes seem meaningless?
Yeah, I'm over thirty.
Even if you're not going through a heart-wrenching breakup ... which I was ... If you're honest, you'd be a liar NOT to answer yes. A liar or incredibly shallow. Now, whenever I see those perky couples on eHarmony ads? I think to myself, they're shallow. Shallow liars.

Then I tried this internet dating site another friend told me about, called Christian Café.
Who emailed me? Men in drag, magician outfits, a guy who looked like Santa Claus on a bender. Then a woman instant-messaged me because she was going through a crisis and needed a "Christian sister" to talk to. She begged to talk to me on the phone. I gave her my work number. My office gave her my cell number. I still get calls from Iowa. I just don't answer them.

I tried Match.com. Lots of interesting, successful, men with mojo. But none of them shared my religious faith. I already tried dating men outside my faith. At best, the guy says, "that's great for you." And doing the spiritual life alone got really lonely. So, I knew I needed a man with my faith. But all the church boys had NO mojo WHATSOEVER. I was screwed. Finally I got matched with this Christian man who owned a vending machine company. Five seconds into our first phone call, puts his 8-year-old son on the line. "Hi I'm Skippy, do you like iguanas?" I had to hold a conversation with the kid for seven minutes.

Then I got an email from some church boy who worked in film. He seemed fun, but in our first phone call, he talked about his friends like I already knew them.
Film: Charlie's having a hard time because Thelma just died.
Me: Who's Thelma?
Film: Charlie's Mom.
Me: Who's Charlie?
Film: My college roommate. He worked at the White Castle on I-85? Hey, can I read you my screenplay?


I let my membership to match.com expire.

Several month later, Christian Café sent me ten free days to try to get me to come back. In those ten free days I saw the same guys on line. Not only the men from months before, I recognized men I'd seen them at every singles group in Southern California for the last 15 years. Men with handles like ShiningArmor, Heart4JesusNYou, MisterRight. I know Mister Right. He went to my church in the 1980s. I never got more than four words out of him. And there he is, Mister Right. He's been on Christian Café for 2 years. How sad is that, to flip back every few months and see that no one wants Mister Right?

I took the eharmony profile again. And, I got rejected, again. This time I asked my roommate how she knew they rejected people they thought were “crazy.”
Roommate: They rejected me. They said some of my answers were contradictory.
Susan: That’s not because you’re crazy, that’s because you’re an artist.
Roommate: Well, to eharmony, crazy and artist are the same thing.
Susan: Fine. I’d rather crazy and interesting, than sane and dull.
Roommate: I'd rather be crazy and interesting. And married.


Several months later, I tried match.com again. I saw this one guy's profile, said he was 43, a Christian and worked in the arts. We emailed. He was hot to meet me, but kept having to go out of the country on business. He seemed cool, but some of his pictures looked a little narcissistic. I saw him at a distance at this wealthy church on Mulholland Drive. A friend dragged me there, I swear. But there he was, the guy from the profile. He kept flipping his hair and checking out the high school aged 'babes.' He never emailed me back. Maybe he'd seen me at a distance too, and decided I was too old, since I was out of high school.

Christian Café kept stalking me, luring me in with ten free days, then five. Then four. Every time, I saw the same men. Two years later, Mister Right was still up for grabs.

Third time I took the eHarmony profile, I passed. But had just had an endoscopy and was drugged on Percoset. I got matched with Percoset addicts. I let that expire.

Christian café sent me three free days. While online some "Christian brother" in Arkansas instant messaged me, "if you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"

I tried eHarmony again. This time I lied, and said I always thought life was full of meaning. I got matched with nice Christian mojo-free men who worked in the air force or computer sales. Men who were never brave enough to admit that, sometimes life sucks and doesn't make sense.

A 45-year old Indian physics professor named Sanjee wanted to fast track me. That means, skip the multiple choice questions and go right to the dowry requirements. I said no, I wanted to go through the multiple choice first. He didn't have his picture posted, but all his must haves/can't stands were about beauty: must have a woman who is considered very attractive. Must have a woman who is in excellent physical shape. Can't stand a woman who is overweight. Can't stand a woman who is not extremely attractive. Finally we got to the open questions, but before he could ask me about the size of my dowry, I asked him why it was so important that his partner be so attractive but he didn't have his picture posted. So, he posted his picture. It was a long shot of a man sitting on top of a Coleman cooler in a weedy back yard. He looked about 60. He stared off in a strange direction, like a Civil War daguerreotype. Maybe he was legally blind.

The others I got matched with looked into the camera but had creepy vacant eyes, like the church had stolen their spontaneity. So, that was it for me and eHarmony. I figured this kind of matching works for people in the fly-over states who chose their jobs because a college counselor told them they'd like it. People whose answers will always be the same at any given moment. Not us crazy artist types who see life as full of contradictions. And anyway, I couldn’t look for a mate like I was shopping for a car: at the end of the day you’re supposed to pick one. No thanks, I’d rather walk than drive the wrong car.

Right before Christmas, Christian Café offered me two free days. Nothing like making the holidays even more depressing than trying to find a guy on a Christian website that guarantees men with no 'nads. It found a profile of a guy who was a writer. On a lark I emailed him, gave him my real email address. In the two days I was online for free, never heard from him. But I did get an email from this other cute guy. But he was 26. My last boyfriend taught me never to date someone so young I could have been his babysitter.

About a week or so later, Writer Guy emailed me at my real email address. Over the next four days we emailed each other back and forth a lot. He was my kind of spiritual, he was smart, and mature. He’d even worked as a journalist for Christian magazines.

Susan: How was it working for Christians?
Writer Guy: Think “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” I’d like to have most of it erased.

Ooh, he was funny too.
Susan: So are you not into church at all?
Writer Guy: I don’t often recognize God there. But I do find Him in simple things, with people who get what love and grace are all about.


I'd never heard my own thoughts articulated so well. When he said it, I was sure I was hearing an echo of something I hadn't yet said.
Writer: Susan. I’d like to meet you.
Wow. A guy who actually asks you out.
Susan: I'm free after Friday.
Writer Guy: Shit, I leave for Seattle on Thursday, for two weeks.


He said "shit." I was smitten.

In those two weeks, my lizard brain emerged from its sleep and spoke: Susan, this is The One. He's The One. And I knew it was true.

But then I met him. He was SO NOT The One. He was smaller and skinner and nervous. He wore clogs and had longish wild hair, which he kept running his fingers through. He slouched down into the café sofa as he talked. I admit I liked what he was talking about. He my attention for two hours.

The next time he asked me out, he was less guarded, more fun. He seemed taller, sexier. The third date, I noticed the earring in his ear looked good against his "not so wild hair." It turned out he liked Monty Python and Emma Thompson. He had watched the Dylan documentary five times. And he let it slip out that he owned a vinyl copy of the Beatles Bootleg Christmas album. I started to recognize the smart, funny, mature guy I'd met in emails. It was like watching someone's face emerge in a Polaroid. I started to feel all squishy inside. Butterflies under my belt buckle. If he continued to "show up" he might end up being, you know, The One. But I once thought that about my last two boyfriends. And BOY was I wrong on both counts.

I saw Writer Guy for several months, and he got smarter, funnier, sexier, and more like Jesus every day. He was also full of contradictions. But they passed him on eHarmony the first go. They have way more women on eharmony than men. Maybe they lower the bar for the guys.

Eight months later, Writer Guy and I got married. My lizard brain was right. He's The One. When my friends ask how we met, I tell them: on website I wouldn't recommend to any crazy, creative woman I cared about. Unless she’s looking for "Mister Right."

PS: February 4, 2009 Update. I appeared on a Fox morning show, "Mornings with Mike And Juliet," which you can watch here. When I said on camera that I was rejected by eHarmony three times, the official eHarmony psychologist asked me if I was a complex thinker and saw the grays, and the nuances in life.
Of course I did. Creative artists probably see too much nuance and complexity.
He told me that was why i got rejected. eHarmony's core belief is that people get along if they think alike. They match people based on statistical probability that they'll think or act alike in any given situation.

So people, if eHarmony rejects you, chances are you are complex, artistic, flexible and interesting. Or schizophrenic.

Talk amongst yourself.

60 comments:

Kerri said...

Yay--you feel SQUISHY!!

Al said...

Susan, you are sooo funny. I love reading your rants.
Keep up the good works!
A1 Speegle, or as most of what friends I have call me, Mr. Write

Neil said...

Hey Susan,

It's not just eHarmony that doesn't want melancholy Christians...it's American Christianity! So, maybe you could try shopping in the EuroTrash aisle. It's still trash, but at least it isn't plain wrap.

Neil Uchitel

Shave said...

Suz,
Bonus. My eharmony experience was just plain boring compared to your adventure. Actually, you know, Santa Barbara is such a small town. That's what I told myself anyway. And the beat goes on....
Keep writing.
Just another loyal fan,
Shave

barbie2be said...

yeah, i tried eharmony and match.com... the only responses i got were "hi, i liked your profile, do you want to meet for sex?"

buzz... no, but thanks for playing.

Anonymous said...

a mutual friend of ours sent me a link to your blog, and I'm so glad she did. what a riot!! I have been doing internet dating for 5 years and have experienced all the sites you refer to. the process you went through with your current beau is so exactly what happens to me every time I start dating someone. I am currently "looking" again after my latest "break-up". So far each guy has been more desirable than the one before. Now I just need to find one that "sticks". Good lucK to you!!

Shelly

daniel said...

Hey, Susan...you rock! I love your honesty and witty take on life. Keep writing... I hope you and your current bf work out well.

Daniel

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should start a counter movement- e-disharmony. Get all the rejects together and let 'em date each other; if anything, it should make for some funny blogs!

Idham said...

:) i searched for indian passion and i got ur site. Lucky me!!
enjoyed reading ur rants...u r witty, refeshingly honest, and beautiful inside.

Will come back for more....

IdHam <---malaysian in space!

Debra said...

After staggering around the internet, it was comforting to find there is life after being rejected from eharmony.

The part of the test concerning, how many times in the last month have you felt happy, sad, etc... I had a choice between 1 and 7 ? I chose 7 on all of the questions. Good grief, that is 30 days? Who doesn't feel everything in 30 days?

Hope your love life is still sweet,
Debra

Anonymous said...

Thank you for describing E-Harmony with the words I wish I could have cobbled together myself. :)

At the very least I feel like less of a loser now.

Singles Out Loud Team said...

This was funny! I ran into your site thru Art who worked on your 168 film last year. Have you considered publishing this piece? Boy, you have perseverence! That's a good lesson for us singles.

Salena said...

That was hilarious!! I laughed out loud. I wasn't rejected by eharmony, I currently subscribe, but I can totally relate. I’ve been doing the whole internet dating thing for
about 3 years, it’s been a fiasco. So far I’ve been on Match.com, plentyoffish.com, eharmony.com, and countless others… I always post a pic, get good responses, and
then nothing. Thanks for keeping hope alive.

Anonymous said...

Great story. I found it as the first Google link from "rejected by eharmony" (with quotation marks). I'm happily married, but I've been seeing a lot of ads with the tag line "Rejected by Eharmony?" lately, and wondered if that was the topic of any interesting articles. Somewhere I read that they rejected anyone who wasn't a straight, right-wing Christian, but I hadn't heard much beyond that.

-- steve98052.livejournal.com

KC said...

Very funny. I really shouldn't be reading stuff that makes me laugh out loud while I'm at work. Good thing the boss is out of the office right now!

Anonymous said...

I absoulutely(sp) loved your story about e harmoney, I laughed out loud severl times!!

spencer said...

While online some "Christian brother" in Arkansas instant messaged me, "if you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"

Just so you know (which you probably did already), that's a punch line from a Saturday Night Live skit starring Will Ferrell as Harry Caray. He didn't intend it as a double entendre, though it's entirely possible your Arkansas fella did.

Nick C said...

Im happily married, but saw an ad on a website about rejected. Searched for rejected by eharm - found your site. Surprised that they actually turn away people with credit cards, i figured my often angry ass should try it out.

Well, I didnt lie, and they accepted me. They must have lower standards for men!

Cheers though mate for the good read and the 30 mins of something to do before going to sleep :)

Anonymous said...

I tried eharmony 3 separate times and while I was accepted, I got no leads. I chalk it up to the fact that the men who are accepted on eharmony are afraid of a forthright woman who is preparing to be ordained clergy and has cats.

Anonymous said...

The whole E-Harmony rejection phenomena is actually just a problem of statistical matching based upon scientifically proven methods of long-term compatibility. Who says a computer based algorithim should choose potential life-mates? However it is the best bet when nobody really knows anybody from an online profile. The truth is that melancholics are a bad lot to pair up. Perhaps you should re-examine your spiritual beliefs and than take the test over again.

Wes said...

Mwahahahaha. I gotta tell you, you really cracked me up on this blog thing. I have never actually been able to read a blog for more than 20 seconds but I got all the way through yours. For me, I enjoy being single but I did give in to creating a free profile on eharmony and even looked at some of the girls it matched me up with...that lived 14 states away and hated sports. Considering I played Baseball in college sports is kind of a big deal. For me, I love the single life, but I absolutely hate that everyone feels sorry for me for being single. If I don't care, why the hell should they? Oh yeah, congratulations on finding that short, unsexy, awkward guy who turned out to be the one.

Anonymous said...

I hear ya!! TOOOOOO funny! I gave up on the internet dating thing after 'looking' around for a couple of years.. and before spending a dime! Like other bloggers here, i was intrigued by an ad that beckoned all who were 'rejected by eHarmony'.. then, google got me here ...
Glad I came!
Thanks for sharing.... hope all is marital bliss with the Writer Guy!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, Same thing happened to me, I am a guy. When I anawered open and honestly, I was also rejected. Then I used another email address, signed in, lied my ass off and was accepted. they only accept self-righeous liars and complete losers at that site. No-one with even half a brain or ANY spontanaity. And I AM a Christian and politically fall a little to the right, but not too far.

Kevin said...

lol
That was a really good read. It was really funny. Glad to see it worked out though.

Anonymous said...

Really funny! I have never gone to eharmony but I wonder if personality or human intelect is a multiple choise answer? Glad it worked out for you.

Toasty Guy said...

I gave up on eHarmony after beating my head against the wall trying to answer the first 10 questions, and tried match.com instead, because I could try out various "marketing strategies." My problem was that the first profile I wrote actually worked. I met my future wife on match.com and after dating each other for 15 months, we got engaged and are planning to get married next spring. I really wasn't expecting anything. It's still outre to say you met your significant other online, and it's definitely not for the faint of heart, but sometimes good things happen despite your expectations. :)

Nancy W. said...

Great story - I loved it!

Anonymous said...

LOVED your blog & the comments too. I was just rejected by eharmony last night, Valentine's Day! What a way to boost my confidence, NOT! I felt like I'd finally managed to climb the ladder again and was promptly knocked off with no guidance as to how to get back up there. Your story gives me hope, THANK YOU!

Lauren said...

You are so funny! Your writing seems similar to that of the woman who wrote Candy Girl- a great book. Thanks for showing that you can be a fun-loving, practicing Christian and find a guy who is the same. Best of luck to you!

Susan Isaacs said...

Thanks, Lauren, for your comment. And thanks to everyone! There are a lot of fun, level headed Christians out there. But like any subculture, it's often the weirdos who get the most press. Then again some may find me a weirdo.

Kimberly said...

While online some "Christian brother" in Arkansas instant messaged me, "if you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself?"

Yes, Arkansas is definately the Land of Opportunity... *sigh*

My eHarmony experience consisted of me being matched with multiple guys who's descriptions began with "I am very conservative and traditional...". I didn't need the full trial period to realize this was not going to work!

And I think "I'd rather walk than drive the wrong car," has just become my official motto! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I got rejected by E-Harmony. 6 months later I met the man of my dreams...in person, at a bar of all places. Later I found out that he too had been rejected by E-harmony. We were both catches, and we managed to catch each other. Don't despair getting rejected. For us it's just a funny story to tell our future grandkids.

Cruz said...

How do I get in contact with Kimberly Roth, oh and yeah by the way Im with ya on the whole eharmony reject thing.

Susan Isaacs said...

Hey Cruz. I'm sorry, who is Kimberly Roth? Thanks for reading the piece.

Nikki said...

Hey Susan-
I don't think I've read your postings before. I forget how funny you are. I am 'voiceless' right now with Laryngitis. (For the last 5 days!! When I can talk again, I give you a buzz -- finally.

Nikki said...

Hey Susan-
I don't think I've read your postings before. I forget how funny you are. I am 'voiceless' right now with Laryngitis. (For the last 5 days!! When I can talk again, I give you a buzz -- finally.

Cristina said...

Susan,
I learned about you from my friend Meredith, after I ranted to her about eHarmony. Your article gives me hope!

xo,
Cristina

Matt said...

Hey Susan, I just wanted to say I got a kick out of this. While it's not politically correct to say that other people aren't "complex thinkers" I do think there are a lot of shallow, clueless people out there who are likewise compatible with most of the other shallow, clueless people. I'm 22 and a man of faith, and I've known for a long time that finding someone whom I'm compatible with will be more difficult for me than for others. But, when if I meet that special lady I'm sure I'll be pleasantly surprised to find that she has been searching that that quirky guy that collects NES games, prefers a good book over a party, and puts his feelings to music on the piano. We will do the sacred nerd handshake and ride into the sunset on our Segways, living happily ever after. Haha!

Fred said...

Now that was simply hilarious, and it mirrored my frustrations with Internet dating sites. Good job. It sounds like one of us complex individuals finally found some success.

Anonymous said...

Susan id love to share a botle of wine with you youve just single handidly restored my faith in the fairer sex. :) Oh dear i think im turning into a woman. Im a male having a sleepless in seatle moment. E Harmony clearly doesnt do dazed and confused.

Oh well im English anyway so your too far away :) Thanks for making me smile. ...

Susan Isaacs said...

Dear Anonymous. You are wonderful. If I weren't married, a recovering alcoholic and in the US, I'd share that bottle of wine with you. But if my book tour ever takes me to the UK, we can share that wine anyway; my husband will drink a glass for me, and I'll have a cuppa PG Tips. Glad to make you smile, and maybe some day face to face!! Suz

Relatos said...

Susan I was watching a commercial from eHarmony and remembering how they rejected me too. I also remember all the commercials from chemistry.com about the same situation. Anyway, I came online, wrote "rejected by eharmony" on google and found your post which made me laugh a lot. Thanks for that.

I'm glad you found your soulmate through eharmony but my personal opinion about then is that they s*ck. Not just because of all the rejections but also for the responses given by its founder to several interviews.

Anyway, cheers and thank you for making me laugh a little. By the way, do you think MrRight is still available? haha

Moe Badderman said...

I was also rejected by eHarmony, but they didn't give me a reason. I'm not artistic nor creative, but I am a critical thinker, and most of their questions seemed poorly-composed, so maybe that has something to do with my rejection. I get the impression they don't know how to deal with someone who is either critical or a thinker -- too far from the norm, perhaps?

Susan Isaacs said...

Moe, you're probably too smart.

Chris D. said...

Thanks for that. I was rejected by e-harmony and strangely felt like I was rejected by all of humanity. Actually, I'm quite content to be rejected by 90% of humanity, but I do need someone to interact with! Maybe they should automatically hook up everyone who was rejected by e-harmony? ;)

Spoonless Eddie said...

I was rejected by eHominy today. They gave me a reason. They said no woman would want me because I'm too independent. Too good at taking care of myself. It's kind of a goofball reason, given that we've had 30 years of the War on Interdependence. I don't believe it. I think they've got something going on there behind the curtain, something probably illegal. My only regret is that they wasted my time.

Rochelle said...

Wasn't rejected by E-Har_we'll-take-yo'MONEY, but the ONE guy I did make it past the questions and into phoning, canceled our date b/c I mentioned there MIGHT be something to the 911 conspiracies; and he said his ex talked that way so he didn't want to meet me any more. Love your latest book and reference to crickets chirping. I also used to haunt singles groups and gave up on them. I have a great life, am 47 now, prospects dropping every day (statistically) and God is in control so they tell me. (Oh and I think EH uses the same survey questions as Meyers Briggs.)

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Demeter said...

AMAZINGLY FUNNY! Discovered your blog on a whim- decided to search "the truth about eHarmony" on google.

Your writing is just wonderful. I can't wait to read more.

P.S. I almost cried at "squishy." Congrats on the marriage!

Susan Isaacs said...

Thank you Demeter! I hope you enjoy my blog! Squishy is good. :) Susan

Paul said...

Thank you for writing this. I was upset after being rejected but now I realize I was just too honest about my character flaws.

This is actually a blessing in disguise because it will help me avoid robotic fakers and find the women that are honest to admit that "life sucks" and "I'm a woman. We [go through mood swings] every month."

thanks for the laughs and the truth, and congratulations on your newfound squishiness :)

Wayne said...

Interesting story. I now know not to give up hope. Dave http://athensmentalhealth.org/blog/

chandra said...

Oh, thank you! Can so relate to, "He said 'shit'. I was smitten." Thank God for crasy-normal people! People who truly get grace seem too far between and often not in churches! Thanks for being real, it's refreshing!!!

theresa said...

E-Harmony sucks the big one. I was only on it for 6 months and they kept sending me profiles of warehouse workers who lived in the fresno area. Is this because I live in Oakland and don't have a college degree? I'm too cheap for that, so I signed up on "Christiandatingforfree.com" that way I am at least not paying for it.

Christopher L said...

My eperience with E-Harmony has been atrocious. I have been on there for only a few months and nothing. My friend Kim(who is a woman) says my profile is great pictures and all. What gets me is these women that say "They want a man that loves the Lord more than he does his wife." "A man that has a heart for God." My profile screams this. Still nothing. I guess you cant order love like you would a pizza. :)

Susan Isaacs said...

Christopher: that is SAD. Women like to think that men are the ones who are shallow. But it's a universal trait. I found my husband on christiancafe.com. And it was atrocious until we found each other. I think just the act of putting yourself out there is a good thing. You're ready and awake.

GrizzlyBearMom said...

I loved your book regarding a Christian woman’s passion to use her gifts and to marry a Christian man. I remember meeting two kinds of men at church, the hyper sexual and the passive. Umm, how come the only spiritual, kind, intelligent men I meet are atheists and Hindus? I remember asking a pastor about the passivity of the men in the church. She said that I shouldn’t be thinking such things. My thought was then why did God give me this brain, these passions, and a volumptuous body? (Yes, lump.) And why did all of those married guys and my gardeners think I was datable but not my MBA peers? Maybe communicating in English is overrated. Regardless, your honesty is refreshing.

Susan Isaacs said...

Haa! Oy, sorry you've had the same experience. But thank you for the laughter. I don't know why it's so hard for church men to step up, but I wonder if they feel castrated into being nice. Thanks for your comment, Grizzly Bear Mom!

Sabrina Messenger said...

Well, I wasn't rejected per se, but I got annoyed with eHarmony for two reasons: first they suggested that I lower my standards. Yeah! On the drinking part, I wrote that I rarely drink and I want a like minded partner. They 'suggested' I would get more matches if I select "drinks 1x to 5x a week." What? Then I read their personality assessment of me, and under negative traits they wrote "hardhearted" and "judgmental." Were they talking to my passive-aggressive ex-boyfriend or something? LOL. I just find it absolutely ludicrous. I think I'd rather be rejected than have lower my standards. I think eHarmony probably works if you're in your 20s or 30s, but if you're in your 50s like me, the attitude seems to be 'you know the pickings are slim, so take what we send you and like it!" No, thanks lol

thirtyandretired said...

I'm in my 30's and got rejected on eharmony twice! Thanks for all the wasted hours, eharmony. And yes, I'm a creative artistic type, but also have a job as a scientist and my own successful business on the side, financially independent and "crazy" enough to have a Master's degree. Yes, if they're looking for mediocrity and a bunch of robotic responses, then I am sure not it. Was super glad to read your stories, Susan. A weight off my shoulders!

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