Mar 16, 2005

Ten Pet Peeves or Fewer

Did you know the rules of the Market Express Lane have changed? It's no longer “Ten Items or Less.” It's now "Ten Items or Fewer." .” I am serious. I wonder now if I get a discount if I buy ten items or many-er, or if I spend $50 or greater?

It was one thing to see this esoterica at Trader Joe's. But at Target? The company that urges you to open a Traget Credit Card so you can "Own It Tonite!"

What Geek Squad has ambushed the Department of Public Word Usage? Or is this part of the No Child Left Behind program. If you can't teach 'em in the classroom, teach them where they're at: Target, 7-11?

Why don't these geeks go after the real problems, like the rampant misuse of the apostrophe? And I don't just mean hastily scribbled signs at the 7-11, "Slurpee's." I have seen this on expensive neon signs: "Dickies Pant's Gallery" on Venice Blvd. "Beverly Hills Fabric's." Civilization and It's Discontents.

Another mystery to me. When did we start pronouncing it Bay-ZHING and not Peking? Or CHEE-Lay instead of Chilly? Okay so we're deferring to the foreign country's pronunciation. Then why not Puh-REE? Forget foreign soil. When did we decide to tay Cah-Loe-RAH-Doe instead of Cah-Loe-RADD-Doe? If they really want to honor the Spanish, they should be saying, Coe-Loe-RRRRRRRah-Doe. Or for that matter, Cah-Leeee-FORN-Ya.

This trend toward cleaning up public grammar could pose some problems companies like "Rite Aid" or "Nick at Nite." Or the entire US Department of Transportation: THRU Traffic Merge left. Please fix the potholes before you fix the language. That's something up with which I cannot put.

On the other hand, I'd like to elmiminate some of the really silly words and phrases that have crept into commerical print, if not common usage.

HAND CRAFTED: formerly known as: "hand made." IE: hand-crafted latte. I have never felt that starbucks barista was intent on hand-crafting my drink for me.

EDAMAME: FKA: soy beans. well, OK. We gave up noodles for pasta, starch for carbs, and coffee for Starbucks.

From the Corporate World:
SKILL SET: FKA "talents." IE "His skill set is image management (fka: damage control.) Actually this one could be of use. Another way to describe a corporate moron would be "one talent short of a skill set."

Alright, then. Time to post this blog. Short for weblog. Formerly known as "self-indulgent internet rant."

Respectfully your's,


Anonymous said...

Okay, you've got a point. But you know, there are some places language can actually mislead, for instance: "Bokay." Why can't the florest write the word correctly? How many children think that is how boquet is spelled because they happened to be in the car when mom was driving by that sign on Spring and the Diagnal? No wonder SAT scores have tanked. Dee Dee

Madley said...

"one talent short of a skill set."

WAHAHAH! That's funny!!!

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