Desert of Doubt

I met Erik Guzman through Steve Brown, the former Voice-Over personality and Marlboro Man spokesman, turned  pastor and theology professor.  Erik works for Brown and has a good blog in which he calls himself  "the Merry Monk of Love." (merry love monk..ey?)

It's Lent, and Erik/LoveMonk has a great post about the "Desert Of Doubt."  He is in that desert right now.  Not knowing if what he's believed is just a bunch of dookey, or if it's really true. It's a very difficult place to face that existential crisis.  Maybe we made it all up: peace, love, God, etc.  What proof do we have aside from our own subjective experience?  I remember being in that place. And in a way, I miss it: Miss that time when finding those answers was more important than food or housing or friendships.  Anyway it's a great post.  Check it out here.

Have you been through that desert of doubt?  Did you get any answers? Are you still in it?

Star Trek meets Chick Tracts?

My friend Allen Lulu alerted me to this. All I can say is, "wow."



So did your church's drama department ever veer this far off the captain's log?

Eat Pray Love, the Movie

I had a love-hate relationship with Elizabeth Gilbert's book, "Eat Pray Love." I loved her journey in Italy, liked her stint in India, and hated Indonesia. I was ambivalent about they way she finally made peace with her ex-husband .... in a cave in India, alone. Sure, she felt great settling accounts in a cosmic space, but the real husband wasn't there to respond. 

Nevertheless I was grateful for how she wrote. I read EPL while I was writing my book, and she gave me permission to write candidly and conversationally. Thank you Ms Gilbert.

Now comes the movie starring Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem.


I think will see this when it comes out.  It's directed by Ryan Murphy, creator of GLEE, so at the very least, the music will have to be terrific.

What do you think? Did you like the book? Will you see the movie?

Male Bake Off: The Cake of Foreskins

I really do love the blogosphere. My friend Bryan Allain emailed me to tell me his friend Kari Bauman had read my book and blogged about it. Kari had actually emailed me just a few hours before.  It was a very kind post indeed.  What I really loved, is she mentioned that she and her husband enjoyed the part in my book when God and Jesus were snickering about the hill of foreskins (and they say there aren't any jokes in the bible?). 

The previous year her husband  entered a Male Bake-Off at her church. Every Super Bowl Sunday, the men show off their creative baking skills before the kick off.

Her husband baked a cheesecake with peanut butter topping and chocolate shavings, and called it the Foreskins Hill cake.  He won the award for "Most Biblical." I wonder what won the following year? I mean, how could you top that?!

Thanks to Mike and Kari Bauman for letting me post this picture.  Visit her blog to find out more.

Dreams and Coincidences

A few nights ago I had a dream I was in a room with a bunch of people who shared my birthday.  We were all gathered around in a circle, looking at each other.  And saying, "hey we were all born on the same day."

That's all I remember about the dream.  I would not have even remembered that, except that an acquaintance who shares my EXACT birth date, emailed me the morning after the dream and  said, "I don't have anyone to celebrate with, want to fly up to Canada and celebrate?"

Two nights later I had a fragment of a dream about the "the two Coreys,"   Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. I don't even remember anything associated with the dream except the phrase, 'the two Coreys."

The morning I woke up, I found out that Corey Haim had died.

This got me thinking to a very dramatic dream I had probably 15 years ago.  I dreamt I was on a plane heading to the Telluride film festival. I'd gone a previous year with a bunch of people from church. They kind of used the festival as a way to corner people at parties and talk to them about Jesus. I didn't like they way things were done, and I never went back to the festival. Not with them anyway.    But I had this dream I was on a plane heading to Telluride with other Christians. I was sitting next to film director Sydney Pollack. he was sharing some difficult moment in his life, and I really wanted to talk to him about god. except I was afraid or embarrassed, or didn't want ot be "one of those" people who introduce Jesus like an Amway product. So I didn't say anything to Mr Pollack in my dream.

I woke up from the dream and that afternoon, a small plane crashed near my apartment in Santa Monica.  Sydney Pollack's son had been the pilot, and he died in the crash.  It was so freaky.   Not long after that I had a terrible, abusive thing happen at my church that sent me running from God for a while. The church had been very involved with prophecy and dream interpretation. I closed the door on all of that mystery, maybe to my detriment.

These past few weeks in Lent I have thought about the silence and the mystery. Perhaps I cheated myself out of some important ways that God communicates with us.  After all, those dream fragments of the past few days.   Perhaps if I spent more time in silence, more time writing down my dreams, what else might I discover about God or myself?

Facebook Jesus

When I first joined facebook, I added "Jesus" as a friend. I Ddin't know who had put up the Jesus profile, but I figured anyone who wanted to get Jesus on facebook was probably a cool cat.  I soon discovered that the person behind this Jesus had very different idea than I did.  "Jesus" posting some vitriolic statements and flaming out others as heretics.  It made me uncomfortable, so I defriended "Jesus." My friend Kara Lee emailed me: "I read your news feed, "Susan is no longer friends with Jesus." Fortunately facebook no longer puts "defriends" in my timeline.

I recently met a talented young author named Renee Johnson. She just published a devotional called "The Faithbook of Jesus." She wanted to title it "The Facebook Jesus," but she would have faced copyright infringement.

Renee is full of energy and excitement. And she will tell you this didn't come from life always going well. Even at the ripe old age of 27 she's got her own bag of craptastic moments from which to share. But she's turned it into gold. 

Renee has been blogging for six years, where she created an online devotional for twenty-somethings. There aren't any devotionals out there written for 20 somethings by an actual 20-something. So Renee's book is unique and will find a new audience to add to those who've already become part of her blog community.

Here's a brief Q and A with Renee.

Q: Please share a little about yourself!

A: I am an author and speaker to 20-somethings, but my tagline says "spirited." This is an understatement which I'm sure you can attest to after meeting me! I love Jesus. And, I don't just say it--I live it. I recently graduated from Biola University and for the past two years I've had the pleasure of working with talented speakers and authors at Outreach Events. Just this year I decided to take my writing and speaking full time and fill in the gaps for 20-somethings where the church left off.

Q: Your new devotional book released last week called "Faithbook of Jesus." Tell us more...

A: I've put my heart and soul into this project. Since 2004 I've blogged devotionals on http://www.devodiva.com, and just recently I was discovered on Twitter by my literary agent and publisher, NavPress. Not to mention the devotionals I've been saving for the past 7 years. I'm honored to have written the first daily devotional for people, ages 18-35. No matter what age you are though, it will make you laugh, cry at my story (I hope anyway), and enjoy getting to know more of Jesus' daily.

Q: In some of your devoitonals you seem to have some "angry conversations with God." To which I can relate. What brought bout yours?

A: Well, for the past 14 years I've struggled with all kinds of health issues from severe eczema (a skin rash) to anxiety (from the skin rash). I've learned to put my faith and trust in Jesus because without Him I wouldn't be here. I love writing how I feel-and sometimes how I feel is ANGRY. If Jesus is God and He can heal me instantly, then why does he wait? Or why am I still single? Those are probably where my most angry conversations with God happen!!

Q: Can you share a sample devotional you think my readers would like?

A: Sure, I hope your readers will love this one...

Week 25: Wednesday, page 152
Evidence of Blessing

I loathe my very life; therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul. I will say to God: Do not condemn me, but tell me what charges you have against me. — Job 10: 1-2

Job is angry. No, he’s pissed. He’s not hiding it anymore. In fact, if he were standing in front of you and me today, he might drop a curse word or two. The poor man was clearly suffering. Sometimes we feel like that, too.

In the New Testament we’re told to rejoice in suffering, and in the Old Testament we see suffering for what it is — tough. Our body’s natural reaction is to fix whatever is wrong and to not experience pain. Pain hurts. It’s uncomfortable, and sometimes it’s too much for us to bear.

The hardest part of our pain is not getting angry at God. From the very beginning, Job’s wife urged him to curse God and die (see Job 2:9). He never did. Job had too much class. In the midst of losing his children, material possessions, health, and sanity, he somehow kept it together.

This verse is one of my favorites in all of Scripture because it shows the appropriate response to our trials: vent to Jesus. He already knows anyway. Tell him. Complain to Jesus. Charles H. Spurgeon said, “Could this not be the reason God is dealing with you? Being left alone by Satan is not evidence of being blessed.”

Like Job, your trials could be the direct result of being in Jesus’ will and the evidence of his blessing.

Dear Jesus Who Blesses: Don’t let Satan mess with us. When we feel we can’t continue, remind us that there is a blessing waiting for us at the end of our trials. Amen.

If you're looking for a devotional like this,  check out her book's website. You can also click on
“Community” to share your stories with Renee's community.