Goodbye John Hughes.

John Hughes died today. The director of Sixteen Candles, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, and Planes Trains & Automobiles was only 59.

My acting career high point occurred courtesy John Hughes, in Planes Trains & Automobiles. I played John Candy's wife, Marie. You never do see Marie, only her photo. Del carries the photo around with her; he talks to it. It's sitting on the bedside table when John Candy and Steve Martin are sleepily snuggled in that motel bed, hand between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

Actually, This is my favorite linie from PT&A

Neal: [riding in back of pickup truck in freezing cold] What do you think the temperature is?
Del: One.

I was 23 and just out of college. I earned the trust of a casting office, so they brought me in. They took my Polaroid; the director wanted someone who could pass for really young and innocent. I got the job. I was just going to shoot a series of photos. An early 1960s high school graduation photo (the one you see) but also a string of photos: Del and Marie on vacation, Del and Marie at Christmas, et al. Del would flip these photos out of his wallet and bore Neal (Steve Martin).



I was young, unafraid and full of ideas. So I started to send "Del" letters to the set on location and signed them Marie. I sent Del cards. I told him to be well as he sold his shower curtains. I guess Mr Hughes liked my creativity. He decided to put me on camera.

I went to the Paramount lot and we filmed improvised scenes, just me and John Candy. Del and Marie at Thanksgiving. We did a couple Thanksgiving dinners. It was at the very end of the shoot. They were so strapped for time they were actually filming scenes with Steve Martin on the other side of the sound stage, so we had to keep it sorta quiet. I spent a lot of time in John Candy's trailer, talking to him about the business. John Candy was a sweetheart. I don't remember much about Steve Martin. But I remember Mr. Hughes. He was a very nice man.

A month before the movie came out I was scheduled to do ADR (automatic dialog replacement) where you redo the audio because the sound wasn't so great. Maybe we were being too quiet for Steve Martin's corner of the sound stage.

They had a special premier at Paramount Studios. I brought a friend. At the very end of the film, Neal is sitting on the train platform and thinking back on everything Del has said. Cut to: Del alone. He's thinking back on Thanksgiving with Marie, and then you have the flashback to Del and Marie having Thanksgiving. Cut back to Neal. He realizes Del is alone.

Only, no flashback. Just Del alone, then back to Neal. I was cut from the film. I was crushed. The fundamentalist Nazi church counselor I'd just fired predicted God's judgment would descent upon me for removing her authority in my life. The film editor said it happened all the time, just like Kevin Costner in "The Big Chill." He told me not to worry. My time would come.

Well my time went and never really came. That PT&A photo is my one shot at cinematic immortality (okay and Seinfeld). John Hughes went too. He left Hollywood. Rumor had it he didn't like the way Hollywood treated people: he blamed them for working Candy to death. And he didn't like the way Hollywood was starting to warp his sons' ideas about reality. So moved to Chicago where he hoped his family could live like normal people He occasionally wrote under a pen name. I don't think those scripts were so good.

I hoped he would return to Hollywood some day. My motives were selfish: I wanted him to come back and do a director's cut of Planes Trains & Automobiles and include my scenes.

That hope came to an end today on a Manhattan street. John Hughes was in Manhattan to see family. You see, he had one. He even had grandchildren at age 59. That tells me, he raised his sons right: they were healthy enough to grow up and into adulthood and have their own children; rather than follow Hollywood's directive and extend adolescence up until the time Medicare kicks in.

I just read a blog written by a woman who started corresponding to Mr. Hughes when she was in high school. Mr. Hughes went above and beyond the call of answering fan mail. He became a friend and mentor. Please, please read it. It might restore your faith in humanity. And if you're like me, you will repent of any selfish desire you had for Mr Hughes to go back to La La Land.



Goodbye sir. We've missed you for a while. Now we'll miss you forever.

Tour T-Shirt Ideas: I Need Your Votes!

I'm heading out on tour in September as the warm-up act for best-selling Donald Miller, who's out to promote his latest book, "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years." While there's little upfront money, it will pay off in book sales, not to mention the chance to tour with a terrific, well-known author.

Don wants me to make some dough and asked if I had a DVD to sell. I don't yet. But I've had some ideas for T-shirts. What do you think of these slogans? Would you buy them on a T-shirt? Some of these my manager doesn't think I could get away with selling them in a church foyer.

Which would you buy? In a church lobby or elsewhere?





























































































Here are some with logos from the book.































Leave your preferences in the comments. Thanks so much!!

Search for Relevance

In Other News ...
Madonna struggles to stay culturally relevant.

Change Your Life! Video Clips

I did a movie a while ago, a Christopher Guest-style mockumentary called "Change Your Life!"; that skewered the multilevel marketing industry, motivational speakers, scams and stupid products. I finally got clips, so here for your enjoyment: These were half-scripted, half improvised, and total fun.

Les and Pam discuss the effect of multilevel marketing on their personal life.


Here's Pam waxing on about "The Secret" she's learning in a new self-improvement book.


Pam thinks "hell" is a "Gateway Swear Word."


Pam's email regarding a Nigerian Investment Opportunity!

I'm on Cisco Does "The Office"

Spinal Tap and The Office propelled the mockumentary comedy style to new popularity. So I got hired to do some short films for Cisco Systems. Here, my friend Tim Washer and I play husband and wife going in marriage counseling. There will be more episodes to come, but here are the first three.

Meet Don (improvised)


Meet Rhonda (improvised)


Counseling Session One (partially scripted)


You can subscribe to the Webisodes on You Tube here:

Jim Gaffigan on Religion

I love Jim Gaffigan's comedy. Here's a clip from his Comedy Central Special.



And here's Tim Hawkins, who I just discovered. Way funny.

Great Cats

With all the stress of my book deadline I needed some laughs. Check out the pics on Stuff On My Cat or I Can Has Cheezburger. Here are a few of my favorites ...

Aaron Donley's Bits of Life

One of the funniest humans I know is Aaron Donley, the comedy editor for Burnside Writers Collective -- a title he recently accrued by being one of the funniest people THEY know, as well. Aaron's "Bits Of Life" collections on BWC are now available in daily, pictorial doses, at his Bits Of Life website. Here are a couple from recent days.















I'm definitely bookmarking Bits Of Life.

Olan Mills and Captions

I'm not blogging, I am revising. But I thought I should alert you to the following ....
A masterful tribute to master portraitist Olan Mills.
Some of the funniest captions ever conceived.
Okay back to the chapters ...

Take me back to 1977

Larry got this email with a bunch of pics from the JC Penny Catalog, 1977. It looked like it had been circulating around, so I did some sleuthing and found the original. It's a blog posting on 15minutelunch. Here are some previews. Seriously did anyone ever wear this?
Or take a dump while sitting on this? I don't want to steal the blogger's thunder. Go check out the original post.

Kathy Griffin Dissed Jesus?

When Kathy Griffin won an Emmy last week for her reality show, The D List, she said in her acceptance speech: "A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. This award is my God now!"

One Christian theater company scolded her in a full-page ad in USA Today. According to the general manager of the Tennessee Miracle Theater, "When word reached our cast that a Hollywood celebrity had stood before TV cameras and said such vulgar things about Christ, they were incensed. It's just not OK anymore to mock Christians and Jesus with impunity."

Kathy responded, "Am I the only Catholic left with a sense of humor?"

No, Kathy you're not the only Catholic with a sense of humor. But you could count the number evangelicals with senses of humor (at least the ones who’d watch your show or understand your irony) on a single frostbitten, gangrened hand in a South Pole winter.

True, her remark was a bit outré. True, Christians are made fun of a lot in Hollywood. Jesus, not so much, but Christians definitely, with jokes that, if you made them about an African American or a gay or an autistic person, you’d get fired. Just ask Isaiah Washington.

But maybe the members of the Tennessee Miracle Theater didn’t quite understand the joke. Or Kathy Griffin. Or Hollywood. Or Hollywood’s idolatrous worship of awards and fame.

So in the verbosity of postmodern hermeneutics, let’s unpack this.

1) Did Kathy make a vulgar remark aimed at The Savior?
Vulgarity is defined as "crude, common, conspicuously and tastelessly indecent, usually referring to language, gestures or expletives." You know, your average teen blockbuster like Talladega Nights/ Wedding Crashers/Superbad. Which, God-fearing Americans went to see in droves. Kathy’s remark may have been ragged, but I don’t remember hearing vulgarity. All I heard her say was that Jesus had nothing to do with her Emmy. And since her show is coarse and R-rated, wouldn’t polite Christians be pleased that she absolved Jesus of any involvement in it?

2) “This award is my God now!”
Given Hollywood’s obsession with awards and awards shows (Oscars, Emmys, MTV, VH1, Americas Choice, People’s Choice, American People’s Choice) Kathy spoke gospel truth: that Hollywood worships fame. And let’s not leave out the rest of the Christian-God-fearing America, that has turned American IDOL, Dancing with the Stars and America’s Next Top Model/Nanny/Trump Clone into ratings hits.

3) Not thanking Jesus for her award
Haven’t we all seen some celebrity thank God an award, meanwhile they're sleeping around, into drugs or guns? Gangsta rappers who thank Jesus for their grammy. Or Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, and their PASTOR DAD who’s pimped them into objects of sexual idolatry? And then Thanked God for their success? GROSS.

My friend Russ told me about a seminar at his church last summer. The leader asked the participants to invite a non-believer to come and tell the seminar what they thought was wrong with the Church. Everyone who was invited, came to speak. They were vulnerable and honest. One man said, “I'm tired of the church telling me what not to do ... ‘don't, don't, don't.’ I want to hear what you want me TO do.” What troubled Russ the most was how many people mentioned the hypocrisy they perceived in the church. Of course, hypocrisy is a flaw of human nature, it's not limited to religious people. But we of all people should be above reproach.

In his book, Simply Christian, NT Wright points to things that all human beings long for: justice, transcendence, beauty, and relationship. Those are the points where we can engage others -- find our commonality -- because every human being desires them. And if we are telling the story of God and what Jesus did so that we can experience transcendence, beauty, justice and relationship, people might not think first of hypocrisy when they think of the church.

I was in the Groundlings Sunday Company when Kathy was in the Main company. I remember her as a talented, abrasive, tough, funny, hard-working broad. Most comedians have a lot of pain in their lives, and humor is how they got through it. The insanity of the entertainment business makes them even tougher. Maybe that's Kathy's schtick. But her show The D List beat out all those other vapid, soul-killing reality shows like "The Hills" and "Laguna Beach." So to that I say, hoorah.

Kathy's show exposes the idiocy and hypocrisy in the entertainment business. Jesus exposed the hypocrisy of religious leaders. So my guess is, Jesus appreciates Kathy doing the same. Her remark may still be offensive or coarse to some.

I wonder if rather than taking action against her , we might want to send some love and grace. Let's think of how Jesus would want to approach her. If you’re stumped, take a look at the initials on that bracelet you bought at the Maranatha Everlasting Word Bookstore /Coffee House/Build-A-Christian-Bear workshop. “W.W.J.D.?”

Nigerian Scammers In Your In Box!

I got an email from a friend of mine today. She's newly married and works for a military defense company in Southern California. So imagine my surprise to hear she's stuck in a hotel in "Africa, Nigeria" with no money, and a keyboard stuck on CAPS LOCK.

HELLO. HOW ARE YOU DOING? I WANT YOU TO KEEP THIS CONFIDENTIAL BETWEEN BOTH OF US, I KNOW THAT I CAN PUT MY TRUST IN YOU ON THIS. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN. RIGHT NOW I AM IN AFRICA, NIGERIA. I CAME HERE ON A TRIP TO SEE A FRIEND AND WHEN I GOT HERE I LOST MY WALLET CONTAINING THE ADRESS OF MY FRIEND AND HIS CONTACT PHONE NUMBER, ALONG WITH MY ATM CARD AND OTHER VALUABLES.

SO RIGHT NOW I DO NOT EVEN HAVE ANY MONEY ON ME . I AM STAYING IN A HOTEL NOW , AND THE MANAGER IS ALREADY RANTING OVER HIS MONEY AND AS TIME GOES BY THE BILLS ARE INCREASING. I WOULD WANT YOU TO LOAN ME $2000. I PROMISE TO PAY YOU BACK AS SOON AS I GET BACK ... I WOULD WANT YOU TO HELP SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION . GET BACK AT ME ASAP. HOPE TO READ FROM YOU...

Wow, she couldn't even put my name in the salutation. It must be serious. I emailed her right back.

Hey, dolls! Wow, you're just the girl to go to Africa, Nigeria. Did your military defense firm send you on a covert mission? You look so straight-laced, but underneath it you're a mercenary mama! Jennifer Garner, move over!
How did you rack up a $2,000 tab? Aren't hotel rooms in Africa, Nigeria, only like two kwanzaa a night? You must have been ordering a lot of oryx barbecue, or else you charged that safari to your room.
I still owe you a wedding gift (Emily Post says I have a year to buy it!). But why stop at $2,000? Let's make it an even 2 million. Are you free later today? I could pop on over to Africa, Nigeria, and rob the Second Bank of Nairobi. You can be my wing man. Hope to "READ FROM YOU" as you would say.

Apparently hackers got into her yahoo email account and co-opted her address book. So now they're not just sending from random addresses, they're spamming with addresses you think you really know. But come on, who's going to fall for this kind of thing? Well, my friend's great uncle did. He called her, frantic, and asking where he could send the funds. It's the older folks who get suckered. I know, my husband writes boring fund raising appeals, and the oldsters fall for them all the time.

Which reminds me. I'm stuck in this Starbucks in America, Santa Monica, and the barista is screaming at me to pay for my mounting bar tab of ten caramel light frappuccinos and a biscotti. So please, please, western union me some coffee money.

HOPE TO READ FROM YOU, _______.

Me and McDonalds Angus Burger

They're Grilling! McDonalds is testing a new Angus Burger, and I'm in one of their commercials.Playing a Kazoo!

They're testing in California, Boston, and New York. So if you're in them environs, go on, git yerself Angus Burger! And you may propel my commercial to national status, thereby contributing to the Susan and Larry retirement fund. Or at least, our health insurance. Or my career as a kazoo artist.

Apple Computer, Beatles' Apple Settle Lawsuit

Apple Corps, the Beatles' record label, agreed to settle a trademark lawsuit with Apple Computers, over the tech giant using the name “Apple” on its iTunes music store.

Now that the Beatles and Apple have agreed to “let it be,” Yoko Ono has moved on. She's suing Gwenyth Paltrow for using the Apple name on her daughter.

A Response to Hitchens

I've got a new piece on Burnside Writers Collective: Christopher Hitchens Has Jumped The Shark. It addresses Hitchens' embarrassing rant in Vanity Fair, Why Women Aren't Funny.
Have a read!

Susan's on Burnside and Steve Brown Etc!

I'm now officially a contributing writer for the Burnside Writers Collective, run by Donald Miller and Jordan Green. You can read my On Fire for Jesus, or Ecoterrorism & Trader Joe's

And there will be more to come. I'll be doing an interview with actor Tony Hale for BWC.


Also, Jordan and I were just interviewed for the Steve Brown radio show. The show was streamed live, will air on the radio this weekend. Or you can listen to our program by clicking HERE!

Larry the Yuletide Yobbo

I don't know if I first read the phrase in David Sedaris' essay, "Diana the Christmas Whore," but Larry definitely is a holiday hussy. He's been playing "Run, Run, Rudolph" since Thanksgiving. I draw the line at those dogs barking "Jingle Bells." Still, I love Larry's love of Christmas, the glitz or the gloria.

We were at Doug's Christmas party on Sunday night, where the picture below was snapped. It was begging for a caption. So I gave it one. (the pink and yellow text).

But then our our talented nephew JOE added his artwork and commentary to the product.

Joe is feeling cheeky, because he just turned 16. So when we arrive next week, he has a license to DRIVE away in his escape car.

Joe? Nice work. But Larry wants his pimp hat back.

Jesus Jargon: The List

I ranted a while back about Christian Clichés.

You can't really get away from clichés. Clichés arise because someone says something clever or smart, and it works. Or it's just a way to explain a complex idea in simple terms. Nothing wrong with that. But then the phrase gets overused, and eventually it gets said by a white guy on a commercial (i.e. fat white guy on Dominos Pizza says "that's what I'm talkin' about!"). Even "jump the shark" has er, jumped the shark.

I just don't like Christian cliches. Burnside Writers Collective editor Jordan Green and I think that a dictionary of Christian clichés would make a fun book. So we are compiling a list. This isn't a complete list because, well, we'd love to publish it as a book and for you to buy it! Or ask me for a free autographed copy to wow your friends.

If you'd like to contribute your idea, please send a comment below. here are some of our worst offenders...

OLD SCHOOL

Many Christian clichés originated from Bible verses, such as "born again" (John 3:7). But if you don't know the Bible, the phrase means nothing. Or worse: it conjures up scary images of blue haired ladies, or Debbie Boone. Some of the oldest Old School clichés go back as far as the Oakie Tent revivals, or as recent as, well, Debbie Boone.

• Blessed, or blesséd. (we're not sure if it needs the accent aigu) God-ordained luck?
• Fellowship: sometimes called "The Christian F-Word." (See Sugar's comment below)
• Brethren: Or Sistren, depending on the group. The friendship or community of believers. This is usually coupled with "do not forsake the brethren." Meaning, "get your butt in the pew!"
• Go before, come before: to get in front of. To address or approach. Often coupled with just ... as in
  
• "Lord we just…" meant to show humility, but ends up sounding wimpy and waffly. Lord we just wanna praise you. Lord we just wanna come before you. Lord I just want Paris Hilton to convert so I can date her."
  
• In the word: reading the Bible.

NEW SCHOOL

Same Poo, Different Day. In reaction to fundamentalism, many Chrisitians wanted to present Christianity as intellectually sound and uh, relevant to, um, the culture (i've already used two). These phrases below probably started out well, but now the user can appear like he's TRYING too hard to sound credible, relevant, or at least cool.

• Authentic: real
  
• Community: Group of friends
• Authentic community: Real group of friends, I guess
  
• Authentic lives: Living really? Really living? (Michael Corwin)
• Life-on-life: A creepy way to say real (Rebecca Corwin)
• Having an authentic life-on-life experience with someone: "a creepy way to say we're friends." (Rebecca Corwin)
  
• Engaging the culture: getting involved in secular society? I can't help but think that the culture is out there idling like an old VW and someone needs to pop the clutch and engage it.
• Unpack: Examining something to the Nth degree. At Redeemer Church in New York City, they can go overboard and unpack the announcements. "We are dismissing the kids for Sunday school. Dismiss is from the Greek "desmedoudas" which means to let go, or loosen … JUST SHUT UP AND LET THE KIDS LEAVE ALREADY!
• Faith-based: A euphemism for religious. Often used in fields where religion is suspect, ie entertainment. A faith-based music label. According to Entertainment Weekly's Chris Willman, faith-friendly is coming into use. Aren't we lucky.
• God showed up: Often used at charismatic hip churches.
  
• live that out: Um, to follow through. Replaced "walk the talk."
• Purpose filled, Purpose-driven. From Rick Warren's best seller. I wonder if there's a purpose driven coffee house as of yet? Or the Purpose Driven desk calendar.
  
• Redemption or redemptive: Often used in terms of creative ventures, such as filmmaking and storytelling. This can often be stretched to the point of incredulity. "Despite the gratuitous sex, violence, and profanity, The Sopranos is a redemptive story… (John Fox)
• Relational: Related; connected. In kinship with. The newest "Next Big Thing" church in LA recently held a seminar on small groups called "VELCRO: Creating Relational Stickiness." This is so bad I can't even talk about it yet.
• Relevant: Meaningful, pertinent to the time or issue at hand. Overused to make Christianity meaningful and valuable in the current culture.
• Transparent: Honest. I hope it's not the Christian version of Scientology's "Clear."
  
• Transparent on the pulpit: Pastor with a "past" spilling guts about all the sordid things ue used to do before he became a Christian. Either to look cool or to get free therapy (Tina Slenk's brother-in-law)
• salt and light: being a good example. This one is often used in entertainment industry, like, "it's great you're being salt and light in the industry." (Jeff Raycher).
  I wonder if you can be "salt and light" doing a horror-torture movie? Or a soap?
  

POMO (Post Modern, Emergent)

The post-modern, emergent church has recently uh, emerged? Well, read the Wikipedia entry on the emergent church. I really love what the emergent church is doing. But like any new thing, the verbiage which springs up around it can get over-used. Here are some buzz words of the Emergent Conversation. (No, not a movement. They don't want to categorized or organized). Hey, I'm 'all about' the 'emergent conversation.' Just not the language.

• Creating a space
• Doing life together
  
• Intentional
• Missional
• Organic and raw
• Witness worker: Takes the sting out of "evangelist," the way "Sex worker" takes the sting out of "hooker."
• The conversation: As opposed to teaching dogma, we're having a conversation about faith. Sometimes combined with "having a conversation around this." or "being in the conversation."
  
• Tribe: a Po-mo way to say community.
• Creation-Care: a pomo way to talk about environmentalism. Olivia Mather brought this one to my attention.
• See the Postmodern Essay Generator to really unpack the above

BAD LYRICS:

• "What can I say" a line from a worship song played at a new hip church. It went something like
  You made a way, what can I say? or
  You turned night into day, what can I say? or
  These lyrics are gay, what can I say?
  As I've said before: Dear Lyricist: If you have to write "What can I say?" Please, move way from the pen, ask yourself "what CAN I say?" When you have an answer, come back and write it. Until then, don't put it in a lyric. And don't make me sing it.
• European music has no place in a multicultural church." Quoted in the LA Times by the pastor of church above. But there is a place for "what can I say?"
• "Don't nobody do me like Jesus." Becca Bennett said that the worship leader in her college wrote this song, and they were forced to sing it at chapel.
• I'm coming into the heart of worship, and it's all about you, it's all about you, Jesus. This song tries to affirm that worship is about Jesus, not us. But it sounds oh so much about ME.
  
• "You see me and my insecurities." I heard this at a church recently. I don't remember what they rhymed with insecurities. Maybe Maimonides, or Euripides or heebee jeebees. Or maybe the song just gave me the heebee jeebees.
  

BAD GRAMMAR

Taking intransitive verbs and making them transitive, coopting speak from other areas like business, technology, rock n roll... The first usage of such often induces a knowing chuckle from the audience. If the word is arcane or "inside," it invokes an exclusive, knowing chuckle. But like any good joke, when overtold, becomes its own cliché.

• Impact: don't they mean make an impact? What, is it a wisdom tooth? (Phil Oosterhouse)
• Grow the budget. I think you grow food and flowers.
  
• Bandwidth: The pastor doesn't have enough bandwidth to see everyone.
• Download: I just got this download from God ... Some tech head just have said this and caught on. I'm sorry but I can't help think of download as a euphemism for taking a dump. As in "downloading brownware." See also "unpack."
  
• VELCRO: Creating Relational Stickiness: the same hip church's title for a seminar on small groups. How can I express how bad this is? This from the church that disses the hymns as "irrelevant European music" but sings "You made a way, what can I say?"
• BTW: I have several friends who go to this church; I've heard the pastor's sermons. He's terrific. So are my friends. This church is doing a lot of good stuff.
  

BAD THEOLOGY

• God told me that (Maria DeAngelus, Phil Oosterhouse) Brian Godawa points out they often add, " 'Not in an audible voice, but he spoke to my heart with a strong impression.' Summarily existentialized so you can’t challenge it."
  
• Hope: Christian hope. "Christians don't have a monopoly on hope. Plenty of people have hope: hope in success, money, fame, family. The only hope Christians really can claim is the hope of eternal life. (Michael Corwin).
  
• Let's see what God wants: not taking responsibility for human decision. (Maria DeAngelus). God wants me to marry you. /Really? I've never seen you before in my life.
  

SIGN OFFS

• Rightfully His
• Consumed By the Call
• In His Grip
• In his Grasp (like In His Grip, but for girls?)
  
• Under The Mercy: This one is not yet under arrest of being a cliche, but it is a 'person of interest'
  
• Amazed by Grace: Pastor Joel Pelsue first used this, but then everyone else copied him. I've thought of a few others so you don't have to plagiarize Joel...
  
• Gobstopped by Glory
• Flummoxed by Faith
• Agitated by Adoration
• Joyfully Jargon-free (Mark Kellner)

SEEN ON A BUMPER STICKER OR T SHIRT

• Jesus is my homeboy
• Body piercing saved my life (picture of Jesus on the cross)
• In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned!
• Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven
• His pain, Your gain
• Honk if you ARE Jesus: Explains all those honking egomaniacs on the road

FIVE MINUNES FROM NOW

Things we know will become cliché because they're so good

• Life-on-life: Authentic. Rebecca Corwin brought this one up and it's ripe.
• Appreciate your ministry: My brother James' euphemism for "get out of my face"
• Stop dating Jesus: Pastor Tim Keller's exhortation to make a commitment to Christ
• I love you with the love of the Lord, ONLY: a diss I got from Matthew Corozine and used in a comedy sketch
• Post-church others: A PC way to say non-christians, coined by James Isaacs

SEND YOUR COMMENTS!

If you'd like to contribute your idea, please send a comment below.

More Wedding Blooper Pics

Larry launches "The Groomsmen" CD release party at his wedding

Only guitarist Doug Perkins (far right) questions the idea






















Bridal Party learns of how the groom put himself through college.



















Which makes Bride wonder how Groom came up with that extra wedding cash...

After explaining that he was playing touch football for the Baptists,
the Bride was relieved that no dancing was involved.


The Groom launches his "Freewheelin' 2006" CD release party at the reception.

Wedding Blooper Pictures

Larry posted his Wedding Blooper Pictures, Part One and Part Two. Hysterical.
In the spirit of matrimonial competition, here's my submission.

Catheryn remains unaware of Lizzie's "Data Mining"














Niece and nephew Emily and Jonathan, grow tired of picture-taking.











Larry Pretents to Hate Eating Cake Carbs














a) Come on, swallow the whole bite!















b) Admit it, you liked it, didn't you?


















c) WHOA! He ate the rest while I wasn't looking!